Feeling Stuck? Use this 4-Step Process To Move Ahead

Ponny Lam

Mar 4th 2024

Feeling Stuck? Use the 80/20 Rule To Move Ahead

This year, I'm diving deep to unravel: what is the 20% activity that contributes to 80% of my happiness and satisfaction?

Won't you agree - It is pretty easy to keep ourselves busy and fill up our free time with tasks, regardless of whether they are necessary!

If you are feeling stuck now, congratulations🎈 - as it's a CLEAR SIGN that you are about to have a breakthrough!

Here is a 4-Step Process you can use to move through your frustration and stuckness QUICK for your next breakthrough to happen:

Step 1: Unbundle your basket of choices!

This is a very common BLINDSPOT that I witness in people when it comes to making BIG decisions

e.g. "I hate this job" = I'm quitting + starting a business (all at once!)

"I hate this government" = move to a new country to start from scratch in life, career, and relationship (all at once!)


The strong urge to quit your current life
The strong motivation to build a new life!!!

One energy is to move away (fear-based), and another energy is to work towards your aspiration (hope-based)!

Especially when you only know what you DON'T want, but don't yet have the clarity of a BIG DREAM that calls you, fuels you, leads you to overcome whatever challenges along the way to make that happen, the urgency to quit can very often prompt people to jump from one hell to another.💥


Honestly, we all took the dramatic leap of faith when we were younger! And these exhilarating adventures would definitely make great stories to tell our grandkids one day.😜

It's not your fault - The urge to quit an unpleasant situation ASAP is a nervous system response - to flight, to escape and leave behind your perceived danger, aka your current soul-sucking situation.

And changing the environment could surely brings fresh new vibes - eespecially if the existing environment feels toxic and suffocating.

When we change to a new environment, the new vibes bring space to our minds and hearts to help us make better decisions. BUT THIS IS JUST THE FIRST STEP.

Therefore, what I mean by "unbundling your basket of choices" is that, break that "big choice" down into smaller choices that are more manageable and BUY TIME for you to regain clarity in the process, and to integrate your lessons learnt in this chapter of your life.

This way, your nervous system can take the dose of the excitement of change ONE AT A TIME when you Just focus on the NEXT BEST STEP.

What happens when you try to skip steps and make a DRASTIC CHANCE ALL AT ONCE?

First, your nervous system could crash when there is too much to handle, like a tornado, leading to many unwise decisions you wouldn't have made when you were calmer.

Second, have you noticed any repeating patterns in your life, career or relationship - Like you keep encountering the same dilemma, different jobs or the same guy, different bodies?!

This is a clear sign that, you haven't "passed the exam" in this area of your life yet, because you have brought unhealed parts of you from your previous chapters to the new environment!

Step 2: Remember your why

What brought you to your current situation in the first place? Why did you start taking this path? What called you back then? What were your intentions?

Did life just humble you with unexpected events, or you did have a passion when you started but forgetten as time goes by?

As I grow wiser every year, I've decided not to waste time not being myself - how people think of me just bothers me less and less as I realize how painful it is if I continue to betray myself just to fit in - while me fitting in is not making the world a better place when I dim my light.💡

So, what is my why? What fuels me on this path back then, right now, and in the near future?

Step 3: Ask yourself: Have you just hit a plateau, or have you been waiting in the wrong train station since day 1?

In Human Design, if you are a Generator (Alchemist) or Manifesting Generator (Time bender), this is VERY COMMON and will happen many times throughout your life because you learn and progress with a stair-step learning curve!

Every time when you feel stuck, frustrated, trapped, or not getting anywhere, it's a CLEAR SIGN of a reflection point to ask yourself:

  • Are you feeling stuck because you are disappointed in your progress? Whether you expected it to be faster and easier, or what used to work no longer works as well, it means you've just hit a plateau!

    And just like a personal trainer will tell you, to move over the plateau you'll need 1) more endurance 2) pivot on the HOWs, not the GOAL. This is NOT the time to quit! You'll just need more accountability, motivation and a different strategy to help you uplevel!
  • Are you feeling frustrated because you've realized this is NOT what you want at all? Very often, we are being lured into chasing memetic desires that didn't even come from our hearts in the first place. If so, this frustration is your stop-loss sign. Get a strategic exit plan to move out with grace!

Step 4: Take action using the 80/20 rule

Let's take a soul-sucking job as an example.

First, pinpoint what EXACTLY drains your energies the most - is it the supervisor? the colleagues and culture? the job nature? the work environment? the workload and pay? the lack of prospects?

Then, explore what is the fastest, smallest change (20%) to make you feel better and increase in vitality (80%). If it's the work environment and colleagues, applying for working from home could be a quick route. Or just apply for a leave to travel, refresh your vibes, and use the vacation for job searching. I have clients who told me just waking up 20 mins earlier every morning to take a walk before entering the office reduce her anxiety by at least 50%.

If it's the workload and pay, it's time to get assertive and arrange a meeting with your supervisor to discuss this as-a-matter-of-factly.

TRUST ME ON THIS: It might sound scary, but I've helped SO MANY CAREER WOMEN ASSERT THEMSELVES, and 100% of them felt more empowered right after having that conversation and from then on, regardless of the negotiation results, their colleagues showed them more respect with fewer attempts to dominate them.

For many women, being an assertive, sovereign being who is comfortable in speaking your needs (without yelling) and establishing healthy boundaries IS one of the most significant lessons to learn in life - and so rewarding after you've mastered the art and enjoy the positive ripple effect of how it improves your relationships, your work and your self of self!


I hope the above 4-step process clearly illustrates how you can quickly get through a stuck situation.

If you're going through a frustratingly sticky situation at the moment and you crave more mind-body-heart-soul and nervous system support, I cordially invite you to join me at my Quantum Leap Accelerator, where I'll wrap you in a loving & alchemical bubble while you are going through your quantum leaping!

It's a highly personalised program, so we'll design together how INTENSE you want to go, and the pace of transformation.

More importantly, I'll teach you a REPEATABLE PROCESS that is
fine-tuned just for you - one that you can return to in your next evolution!

Activating quick breakthroughs is my forte! It is an investment in yourself where you'll get access to me 1:1 as a VIP during our 3 months working together. More details can be found here:


The Bottom Line Is - Why Struggle Alone When You Can Get Support And Do It 10x Faster And Easier?

Sending you lots of love!



Ponny Lam

Coach. Career Educator. Human Design Specialist. Storyteller. Personal Growth Mentor.
A heart-centered, purpose-driven soul here to help you reconnect the Essence of You.

21/F Sterling Centre, 11 Cheung Yue Street, Lai Chi Kok, Hong Kong, 852
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Ponny Lam Coaching Services

Quantum Human Design Specialist | Career Purpose Coach | Writer & Storyteller | Embodiment Guide

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