Emotions only last 90 seconds

Hi Reader,

If you were me, what would your first response be?

A barely audible yet lingering sound of fire alarms woke me at 6 a.m. on Monday. When I looked outside, in the window of a building a few blocks away, I saw a flame fusing vividly while the sky was still blue-greyish. There were also murmuring voices from downstairs - dozens of evacuated residents gathered around the fire engines.

🙏Thank goodness, the fire was put out after 5 minutes as we discovered it, and grateful that nobody got seriously hurt.

>>> This incident got me thinking - with events like this that are close enough to get us alert but far enough from putting us in immediate danger, our responses can uncover the “autopilot crisis management protocol” inside our heads!

My first thought at that moment was, “Oh synchronicity! I’ve renewed my home insurance just a few days ago!”

My next thought was, “Oh poor neighbour! Wish nobody gets hurt!” and I made a prayer.

My then thought was, “If that happened to my home, then I wouldn’t need to do any more decluttering!” 🙄 (see, creepy thoughts could sneak in at moments like this when there are things you resent or wish to avoid!)

While we all know the most reasonable response in a situation like this is to keep calm yet stay attentive and be ready to respond accordingly;

For someone who might have been through traumatic fires in the past, witnessing even a far-away event like this could trigger panic.

They may start running outside even when there is no need, screaming at everyone at home to hurry them up, or be frozen with blank minds.

On the contrary, someone might respond by picking up the phone, snapping a photo, posting it online, and going back to sleep - the typical indifferent and numb bystanders' behaviours 🧐.

What should we do then, when we feel triggered emotionally?

In times like now, when we are collectively on the edge of a consciousness shift - and the world is not at peace - the energy requirement for us to remain calm and keep showing up is HIGH!

So don’t be too harsh on yourself when you don’t feel like a Zen master every single day - it’s pretty normal 🫂

THE GOOD NEWS IS, emotions only last 90 seconds!!!

According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor,

"When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there's a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you're thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological reaction, over and over again."

What does that mean?!

I’m sure you've experienced this before - when you get nervous at a public speaking event or an important job interview, the first minute feels the most intense, but then as you continue, you can slowly manage it better :)

Since the chemical rush of emotions only lasts 90 seconds - as long as we fully allow our bodies to experience the energy-in-motion entirely - as if we are in an immersive 3D movie theatre witnessing the intensity without interruption, repression, or exaggeration - it will dissipate in 1.5 minutes. Then, our brains’ intellectual and rational parts can be in control again, and able to differentiate what is real in the now, and what is not (there is no tiger 🐯 chasing us!).

On the other hand, when we try to suppress, deny, or exaggerate (common for toddlers) during those 90 seconds, the chemical rush might not pass through smoothly and be trapped somewhere in the body, which is also our subconscious.

Later on, when we attempt to rationalize WHY we feel what we feel by creating stories in our head, trying to make sense of what happened, those stories we keep telling ourselves are what re-stimulating the circuitry that sustains a feeling longer than they should.

Worse, those stories are often illogical “cause & effect” with unvalidated correlations and assumptions we made when we were young, like:

  • I asked mom for help but she was busy > Getting help is bad > I have to do everything myself so I’ll never get rejected🥲 > People are not trustworthy anyway 😡 [Your mom was stressed - she didn’t know better]
  • Everyone I know either works their butt off to make money, or they become filthy profiteers > I can only choose between the two [ Go see the world beyond your social circle - there are many other ways possible! ]

If you’ve caught yourself looping in a pattern of ruminating unhappy life episodes over and over, ask yourself:

  • Do I want to be right, or to be FREE?
  • Are there uncried tears🥺, and unvented rage🤬 in me that are desperate to be noticed, and be released?

Time to acknowledge their existence and release them - with a good movie, a blindfolded dance, or a Thai-boxing session!

When we are free from our internal unnecessary dramas, we can finally have the bandwidth to see what is truly happening in front of us without a colored lens from our past, and be able to accept what is, in a calm, peaceful way.

Ready to dig deeper with my support?

Have you been trying to manifest a better life, but feel like you’ve been running in circles?

Chances are, some stories in your subconscious are still trying to “protect” you from going beyond what feels familiar (but unfulfilling). Those are stories embedded with intense emotional resistance, like guilt, shame, anger. It’s tricky to DIY your way to dig them out, as we all have blind spots!

Comfort zones are NOT comfortable - they are merely familiar!!!

I'm calling in 2 more committed souls in 2023 for this introductory offer of Money Energy Detox (MED) before the price goes up in the new year.

We'll work on themes of the lower 3 chakras, fusing them with Human Design insights and somatic exercises that help release and transmute these stories for good:

  • Root: Sense of Safety (Nervous system)
  • Sacral: Source of Power (Emotions as fuels)
  • Solar Plexus: Leadership (Personal Sovereignty)

If you desire liberating breakthroughs for your manifestation, you can check out more here.


Before I sign off, several of you have asked me if I’m offering personalized annual forecasts with Human Design and Chinese Astrology.

My idea is that it’ll be more valuable to look 3 years into the future (i.e. 2024, 2025, 2026) to grasp the key themes and then make plans strategically that feel aligned internally.

I also want to make this accessible yet filled with practical, valuable insights, especially for those who are making BIG pivotal changes soon. Let me sit with this and update you with more details in early November. Stay tuned!

Happy Halloween - When you turn the light on, nothing is really scary, just like those "demons" in the depth of our psyche!

Sending Love,



Ponny Lam Coaching Services

Quantum Human Design Specialist | Career Purpose Coach | Writer & Storyteller | Embodiment Guide

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